free to examine

I am reminded about my interest in Judaism. I want to feel completely free to examine my beliefs. When I was feeling lost in Christianity and wanting more, Hashem has brought Judaism. I want to be a part of the Jewish community. I do not want to feel alone and bewildered as I do now; except when I am learning about Judaism, then I feel in tune.

All these thing I want, but they will take some time to put together. I need to learn what I must do. Maybe I should take some classes.

I must not abandon my responsibility to my kids. I want to raise them up Jewish--but that is not entirely up to me to decide...I worry a little about how all this will affect them. But, I am trusting that Hashem will provide and make things good.

I know that, soon, I will have to talk to my dad. He is this most open person. I know he will not judge me unfairly. He will listen and will try to understand. But, he WILL try to enlighten me. And I don't want to convince my side. I am not good at confrontations when it simply a matter of perspectives. I am the first to agree to disagree, at that point.

Allaya just invited me over for Rosh Hashana dinner! I am so ecstatic...even though I don't know what it is. I am going to look it up.