I had a hard night last night with so much introspection. I felt like I was about to implode. I desperately wanted to talk to someone. I feel so lost without a friend to talk to about Judaism.
Today I spent the day at the public library. It felt amazing and rejuvenating to study. Some people, I don't think, understand this about me and they want me not to think too much and not do too much during my life transition--including studying Judaism. But, I have a renewed sense of purpose whenever I study Judaism.
I have been writing all my notes from reading down in a notebook. Tomorrow I hope to celebrate Shabbat somewhere. I am going to call around.
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